


Fly Away

by shesgottheknife



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-12
Updated: 2014-02-12
Packaged: 2018-01-12 02:43:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1180973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shesgottheknife/pseuds/shesgottheknife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael and Lucifer fall into the Cage. After Castiel rescues Lucifer accidentally instead of Michael, the Archangel is left alone and fallen.</p>
<p>Thank you davechicken for being my beta and suffering through these feels with me.</p>
<p>"Fly Away" by Poe</p>
<p>It makes sense that it should happen this way<br/>That the sky should break and the earth should shake<br/>As if to say, sure it all matters but in such an unimportant way<br/>As if to say, hey, hey</p>
<p>Fly away, sweet bird of prey<br/>Fly, fly away, nothing can stand in your way<br/>Sweet bird, if you knew the words<br/>I know that you'd say, fly, fly away</p>
<p>In makes sense that it should hurt in this way<br/>That my heart should break and my hands should shake<br/>As if to say, sure it don't matter except in the most important way<br/>As if to say, hey, hey</p>
<p>Fly away, sweet bird of prey<br/>Fly, fly away, I won't stand in your way<br/>Sweet bird, if you knew the words<br/>I know that you'd say, fly, fly away</p>
<p>In makes sense that it should feel just this way<br/>That you slowly fade and yet still remain<br/>As if to say, everything matters in such an invisible way<br/>As if to say, it's okay, fly away</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fly Away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Davechicken](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Reverie](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1105076) by [Davechicken](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken). 



Time is a funny thing.

It moves too fast and too slow all at once.

In Heaven, it's not really bothersome. 

Earth is a bit of annoyance, but nothing compares to the Cage.

In the blink of an eye, I made a decision. 

Destiny.

Orders.

_God's will._

The Morningstar needed to be struck down again, and if Sam Winchester was going to throw himself in the cage with Lucifer in tow, the only hope of ever getting him back out to execute my orders was to do the one thing I _feared_ the most. 

**I Fell with him.**

And oh, how it _burned_.

It burned with the fire of a thousand suns. It burned brighter and hotter than I had ever imagined. Were my wings not built for this, not made to endure the heat of battle, capable of becoming flames themselves, then doubtless they would've been destroyed.

We landed in the Cage. The Cage built to contain Heaven's most powerful being. 

I realized then the Cage had been made for _us_. It was the plan all along.

There was no way out. Sam fought a valiant fight, but the darkness, the **nothingness** was too much for him. I wept and grieved for Sam. No human should ever have to endure _this_. I was thankful for Adam's soul being long gone from my vessel.

I wanted to fight, I wanted to strike my brother down, just as our Father commanded, but my sword was useless in the Cage. 

~~Perhaps it was for the best.~~

There was a lot to think about in the Cage and nothing but time to think it in.

I would think of how I cast my brother down. I damned him. God may have given the order, but _at my own hands,_ my brother was subjected to this for thousands upon thousands of years.

I knew it was bad: anything outside of Heaven is awful. Earth is tolerable. _But Hell?_ Hell is...there are no words. And it gets worse the further down you Fall. We Fell straight through Sheol  
, through the disgusting Pit, then down, down, down _farther still_ and landed in the Cage; everything was terrible. Everything was nothing and nothing was everything. 

It was filthy, vile, dank, thick, and that was just the beginning. Lucifer's light was blinding...my own had been sucked away by the darkness that surrounded the Cage. His beautiful glow could never be dulled. There was no use fighting, our powers were useless within the confines. I felt the Cage suck not only my light, but the very will to _be_ from my core. This shook me more than anything else.

_Wasn't I a soldier, a fighter, a **leader**? ___

__And yet, here I was, tucked in a corner of the Cage, just wanting it to be over._ _

__It was jarring. I wanted to do nothing, to _be_ nothing._ _

__Perhaps I was embarrassed, guilty, ~~regretful~~...but I hardly spoke to my once beloved brother._ _

__I don't know how long we were there. Castiel came once, for Sam. I expected that. I was proud of my little brother and for a moment, a flicker of hope. I waited for him to return. I had every faith in Castiel. I knew he had left Sam's soul behind, and I hoped when he returned for it, I would be released as well._ _

__But Castiel did not return._ _

__Not for Sam Winchester's soul._ _

__Then one day...he returned. I was overjoyed, I cried out, but the tar and muck in the air prevented any sound from escaping._ _

__Things are disorienting in the Cage, in the black. And Lucifer's light was all there was. Naturally, Castiel must have assumed it was I, the one who struck down the Morningstar once. Because if I did it once, surely I could do it again, yes?_ _

__So I thought as well._ _

__But the Cage does things to you that are unimaginable, and as I said, my will to **be** was gone, along with my light._ _

__Lucifer wrapped his Grace around Castiel, before I could process what had happened and they were flying away!_ _

___Please, God, **no**. Come back!_ _ _

__I reached as far as I could, grasping for purchase, finding none._ _

__The Angel of Thursday had freed the Morningstar from the Cage..._ _

__...and left me to the Nothingness._ _

__It was then, with my brother gone, that I truly felt the full effects._ _

__It stole _everything_ from me. _ _

__At least with Lucifer, troubled as the two of us were, he was there. He was my brother and I loved him. I **never** stopped loving him. Not for one moment. _ _

__He was with me in the Cage and even in the worst, lowest moments. We were there _together_. _ _

__In what seemed like the blink of an eye, Castiel had freed Lucifer._ _

__They had flown away from me, from this place, this **evil**._ _

__Slowly, _slowly_ his light faded. I watched as it dimmed and became smaller and smaller until it was no more. _ _

__I was no more._ _

__I was..._ _

__Alone._ _

__And Fallen._ _

___Had this been what Lucifer had experienced?_ _ _

___Oh brother, oh bright, beautiful Morningstar, **I'm sorry.**_ _ _

___I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I am so very sorry._ _ _

__I wept._ _

__Violently._ _

__For how long, I will never know. I will never be able to count how many tears I shed over Lucifer. I was not angry with Castiel. I was still proud that he was able to do the things he had done._ _

__I was angry with myself for blindly following orders._ _

__I was angry with God. How could a Father _do_ this to His son? How could He have asked me to do this to my brother? _Why?__ _

__I was tormented with visions of Heaven, of the ever living ghost of what once was, of my closest brother._ _

__It was always the same, the way it happened. The black disappeared, turned into a cruel vision that I could not touch. Like a human movie being show to you in the middle of a room, the screen playing sweet memories all around you, but being unable to touch, unable to really _feel_. _ _

__It was Heaven, and it was beautiful, just as I remembered it. _Perfect._ Lucifer was singing, I was lying at his feet, listening in awe. He would sing for me sometimes. He was glorious, so beautiful I ached for him. When he was done, he would pull me close to him; our forms sliding together, a neat mess of wings and heads and limbs. Our Grace entwined, swirling together. It was beautiful, it was perfect, and here, in the Cage, it was always interrupted by the memory of my foot on his neck, sword at his head, casting him down and I was **sick** with myself._ _

__Other days, I would be reminded of the times I visited Eden. I would lock the gate upon leaving and _he_ would be there. I was disgusted with him, but I loved him. And I missed him. And I **needed** him. _Oh, how I needed him._ We would hide in the cover of the foliage, stripping one another of our coverings, for _shame_ was now a very real emotion._ _

__Lucifer would slide his hands over my vessel and it was **good.** Lucifer's body was cold, so cold, and I wanted nothing more than to keep him warm, so I pulled him close. My arms wrapping around him, our lips pressed together and it was exhilarating to experience each other in this new way. I know that Lucifer was not as entranced by it as I was, but I always thought he did it for me. I think now, he was doing it more for himself, drawing a piece of Heaven closer to him. Grace thrummed in my chest, faster and faster as he would move in me, or I in him. _ _

__He frequently had a cold hand against my chest. I knew he was feeling for my Grace, so I would cover his hand with my own and hold it there, press it close, push it _into_ my chest so that blue Heaven could coil and snake around his hand as I would fuck myself senseless on him, holding onto his forearm, keeping his hand buried in me, in my Grace, the most intimate thing I had to offer. The closest piece of Heaven I could share with him._ _

__He loved to see my wings, too. On rare occasion, I got to see his, to touch them, to feel them against the skin of my human form. And it was wonderful. He hated to show them all, but I would urge him to let me see, to let me gaze upon their beauty. He would snarl and refuse. I would take his head in my hands and kiss his lips, whispering they were **perfect** because they were _his_ and they told his story. Some days he'd let me see _all_ of them, and others, only the ones that were in good repair. Some days he wouldn't let me gaze upon them at all, he would simply turn me away from him and run his fingers through my wings, _hard_. His fingers would curl around the base of them and **yank** and oh, but it felt _good_. He'd sing—his voice still beautiful—with his lips against my ear, beautiful Enochian praises and I **yearned** for him to be inside of me once more. He'd always oblige me, holding me tightly against him, as he pushed in and out of me. _ _

__Every memory, every time I began to smile once more, the vision of him under my heel was shown. It was a roller coaster of emotions and I just **wanted it to stop**._ _

__And then, one day, for no reason, the cage was opened. I did not immediately get up. I sat staring at it for what I assume was many, many years. When it did not close, I finally talked myself into getting up and walking towards what I assumed was an illusion. But it was not and for the first time in what seemed like _forever_ I reached deep into myself, pulling myself back together. It was not easy, but I eventually shot out of the confines of that wretched place, blue **Heaven** flaring, giving me strength to cut through the thick air of Hell and beyond._ _

___And I was free._ _ _

__**And Heaven was no more.** _ _


End file.
